What's the US' biggest problem right now? A failing economy? Two complete idiots running for president? Terrorism? Rising gas prices?
ALL WRONG!!! It's CANADA!!!!
That's right folks. Canada has been slowly infiltrating American Territory with the use of a secret weapon: HOCKEY.
Hockey is a beloved sport by millions of Americans. But beware sports fans; hockey is just one way that Canada is slowly gaining power over the United States.
How does hockey give Canada an advantage over the United States. Well it is widely known that Canadians are the only one's who play hockey. Hockey also involves ice and fist-fights, two things that Canada is good at. Ever wonder why the NHL has teams in places like Los Angeles, Anaheim, Florida, Atlanta, Nashville, and your beloved Raleigh?
Canada is just trying to get us used to all the cold weather. When they take over, they will ship all the Americans to the the Yukon and all the Canadians will move to Florida and California. The main soldiers for the Canadian army are these so called "hockey players." A few other things that hockey does for Canada is makes Americans less suspicious of people with gross Mullets, strange French names that only SportsCenter anchors can pronounce, and people with ugly broken noses.
We all need to join in the petition to remove hockey from the South. It must be done now before it's too late.
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3 comments:
Awesome. I remember learning that theory growing up in Toronto, but I automatically forgot it when I crossed the boarder.
Oh man. I've heard this theory from you since you were 12. It never gets old. You should be careful posting, I bet CANDADA is looking at you right now. Watching your every move. You'll probably need to go into protective custody, get a new identity, or much much worse....start watching hockey!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH
ahahahahahahahaahahaha
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